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 #141705  by Sifodias
 
"oh but you're not a member so writing a leaving post doesn't make any sense duuh"
If you're one of them, please don't read this post.

So, since november, I spent a lot of time here, more than 300h. I had great times, I met some nice people. I felt like a part of the family without being a member, and I thought you were feeling that way too.
But it took me 3 apps to figure it out : most of you don't.
I thought I had many friends here ... It seems that I was wrong.
So, sadly, I'm gonna leave the server.
Yama, I think you're happy when you're reading this post. You still hated me to the very end, and I still don't know why. No, I wasn't "acting" or anything when I was being nice, it was sincere.
Rogue, you're the one who gave me the motivation to join KR, you're one of the first member I talked to. But recently I felt you distant, less friendly. I hope I didn't hurt you in any way.
Toon, it was nice to meet you, you japan lover :D
Uscari, you were nice with me. You were one of me fwiend and it was nice to talk to you.
Jack, me fwiend, all these hours spent with you were noice.
IndigoChild, I hope you will remember Sifo's madness :D
Cooco, I had great times with you <3
And last but not least, my Fwog <3 I will sincerely miss you dude. You were on my side 'til the end. It was nice to meet you <3
To the other members : It was nice to meet all of you, even if you secretly hated me.

Now I gotta get my noun together. Need to study and stuff. I don't feel like spending more time on KR with people who don't consider me as a friend.

Farewell then.




Swearing edited by Jawfin
 #141709  by Mnsomc
 
I know you've made an effort to get to know KR, and as a matter of fact, getting invited by three different members is quite an accomplishment. Given that some people join KR after spending much longer time than what you have, I wish you had made a different choice, but I respect your decision. Good luck with your study, and hope to see you around sometime again in the future.
 #141710  by Sifodias
 
Thank you Mnsomc. I might be around in the future, after some time.

Ps : jawfin, seriously ? ...
 #141714  by Frog
 
Sifo <3
I can assure you NO ONE hates you at ALL. If anyone seems to be nasty it's 'cos they are doing what is best for the clan, not to hurt you!
It's totally your choice to leave or go, but notice something, the difference between, say, Padawan, and you, is that you were invited THREE TIMES. You must be doing something right to get it that many times!

But then, by the same token, that also means you've got some things wrong. It's important to learn from our mistakes, and become better! If you can do that then I am sure you would easily get a place here in KR. Don't give up! Don't give up! Don't give up! find those flaws and BEAT THE LIVING EA OUT OF IT!

If you want to leave, that's fine. But one thing you should do is improve on the flaws. If you do something wrong, go and right them!
KR has effected my way of living and my way of approaching things in general. It's improved my life. It can for you to, but if you leave these problems unchecked it could prove to be destructive!
I cannot tell you what those flaws are, only you can know that. Reach deep down and get those suckers out!

I strongly encourage you to yell a war cry out and beat those flaws up! I really think you have a place in KR. If you still decide to leave then all I can do is wish you all the best.
 #141719  by jawfin
 
Sifodias wrote:
Thank you Mnsomc. I might be around in the future, after some time.

Ps : jawfin, seriously ? ...
Hehe yup, was thinking the same thing myself. A person who knows our rules from playing on server for 300 hundred hours still has a problem following them! I know it may appear petty, but where do we draw the line? Like, it would be OK for KR members to swear but not say someone posting on Admin Complaints? Its nothing more than the standard we maintain. You can organize your fecal matter however you please, you just need to find the way of saying that in polite society :P
 #141720  by Frog
 
Why do we fall, Sifo?


So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
 #141722  by Squidlord
 
Frog is actually Alfred, not Batman.

Also good luck with the studies and all that jazz, shame to see this has effected you so badly, just gotta give it time dude.
Last edited by Squidlord on Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 #141723  by Frog
 
Quit giving away my identity Squiddlies!
 #141724  by Sifodias
 
Frog Redstar wrote:Sifo <3
I can assure you NO ONE hates you at ALL. If anyone seems to be nasty it's 'cos they are doing what is best for the clan, not to hurt you!
It's totally your choice to leave or go, but notice something, the difference between, say, Padawan, and you, is that you were invited THREE TIMES. You must be doing something right to get it that many times!

But then, by the same token, that also means you've got some things wrong. It's important to learn from our mistakes, and become better! If you can do that then I am sure you would easily get a place here in KR. Don't give up! Don't give up! Don't give up! find those flaws and BEAT THE LIVING EA OUT OF IT!

If you want to leave, that's fine. But one thing you should do is improve on the flaws. If you do something wrong, go and right them!
KR has effected my way of living and my way of approaching things in general. It's improved my life. It can for you to, but if you leave these problems unchecked it could prove to be destructive!
I cannot tell you what those flaws are, only you can know that. Reach deep down and get those suckers out!

I strongly encourage you to yell a war cry out and beat those flaws up! I really think you have a place in KR. If you still decide to leave then all I can do is wish you all the best.
Thank you Frog. Trust me, leaving hurts. But I kinda loose hope you know ? In pm I asked Jawfin if I did something wrong, he said I did nothing wrong, I just didn't pass the votes. So I thought "well, if I was doing something wrong, I could work on myself and fix it. But no, I just didn't pass the votes, meaning that most of the clan doesn't want me here"
I just don't know what's wrong with me. I don't think I did something wrong. Of course I wanna be better, but I don't know what I should change.
Since the beginning I did efforts to get closer to you guys, and I thought it worked, that I was a part of the family.
Maybe I just need some time.
I'm loosing it.
All I wanted is having a nice time here, did you guys felt that way or not ? what should I do ...
Please, tell me what do you think about me

PS:
Image
this post was your 666th post ... that's a sign

PS2 (playstation 2) : I know jawfin, I know but ... I just feel like you're making fun of me
Oh I just noticed that you moved my thread to the general discussion section. Thank you ... really
 #141725  by Squidlord
 
Sif I think a lot of people just haven't had a chance to see you enough since you have changed. If you truly want to become part of the community, it takes time. When you make mistakes some people can take quite a while to get over it. Take me for example, I was a jerk when I started playing here and it took me over a year to get an invite. Now I'm not saying you're a jerk but people have witnessed you making mistakes and breaking rules so if you truly want to join us, just give it time. People need to see that you have changed and are going to stay the way you are, they won't see that overnight, this will take a good month or so. Just giving you my 2 cents.
 #141726  by jawfin
 
Not making fun of you, in fact, I was trying to be nicer about it. I would usually put: -
Edited by Jawfin: Swearing removed
I intended to soften it by writing the reason for my edit more casually.

Also, you are mistaken. I did not move your thread. That would have been done by one of our moderators. Again, it in not meant as an insult, it is an organisational matter. The Leaves forum indicates those who have left the clan, therefore they would have had the clanpass, and perhaps admin passes. Moderators have watches on that forum so we can decide if the passes need to change. Also, if a member leaves then returns its a Council vote, not a clan vote - so that forum is there to follow the logic of our internal links.
 #141727  by Frog
 
I won't presume to know what you should change, but I can assuredly say that leaving and quitting isn't they way to get this fixed! That's only leaving!
I know what it feels like to have the feeling that people hate you. Trust me, they don't! You have to understand, this Clan is around ten years old! anytime a Clan member doesn't think people are right to join, that usually doesn't mean they hate them, just that it wouldn't be the best thing for the Clan.

That being said, I think you should really examine yourself and see what the problem is. You are very intelligent I know you can do it X>
 #141728  by Sifodias
 
Jawfin wrote:Not making fun of you, in fact, I was trying to be nicer about it. I would usually put: -
Edited by Jawfin: Swearing removed
I intended to soften it by writing the reason for my edit more casually.

Also, you are mistaken. I did not move your thread. That would have been done by one of our moderators. Again, it in not meant as an insult, it is an organisational matter. The Leaves forum indicates those who have left the clan, therefore they would have had the clanpass, and perhaps admin passes. Moderators have watches on that forum so we can decide if the passes need to change. Also, if a member leaves then returns its a Council vote, not a clan vote - so that forum is there to follow the logic of our internal links.
I'm sorry ... you're right I just don't have a clear mind right now ...

Frog, Squid, you may be right. But I need some time right now. I keep you informed
 #141748  by Lord Rikan
 
Dear Sifodias,
I don't know what to say (as I have not a clear idea of what is going on :mrgreen: )..........but I DO know one thing: that I'll miss you.
I don't know if you felt the same way with me (probably not) but I really cared about u, a lot and I'm not saying this just because you are leaving and I want to sound cheesy. I mean, think of all the times we tea-bagged corpses together. That was cool wasn't it? ......................*creepy? not at all*
Anyhow, from time to time we would joke around and I always enjoyed your company. I would always smile whenever you'd log into the game or whenever I'd log into one, and you were in it. Why? Because I felt there was someone in that match that I could call ''friend''.
Yes, I do know that friend is such a big word and that we probably live so far away from each other, thus we couldn't know much about one another, nonethelsess I believe that there a couple of things that I need to see from a person to call him/her ''friend'': loyalty, kindness, honour and a willing heart. I could see that in you so that was why I saw you as a friend. And I will continue to do so.
I regret the fact that we did not get to know each other THAT much, but I wish we did. Cause I am sure you are a wonderful person. Actually, I am not sure I know.
I don't see how could people hate you. Why would they? Where's all this hate coming from? You are cool hence you deserve the same amount of coolness in return.
I'd rather want you to stay and play some more JKA every now and then.....but if your heart tells you to leave, then I will not tell you not to. I think I know better than everyone else the feeling of being around people you consider friends but then you suddenly realise that most of them do not even care about you and/or dislike you for no reason. Ive been through that and the pain I felt last year has scarred me deeply. Robin Williams once said: '' I thought that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, I was wrong the worst thing in life, is to be with people that make you feel alone.'' I don't often talk about this and I dont know whether you will like it or not, I dont know too.
After realising that most of my friends where fake, judged me behind my back and influenced my personality to do crazy things (my fault too as i allowed them), I became more solitary, reserved, shy, cantankerous and sassy ( 8) ). I began to sit alone in school, never talking to anyone, I kept on reading books and listening to music, yet during this so called exile of mine, I understood a couple of things. That being alone isn't always bad if you know how to appreciate your persona and that if you are sure that there will be one or two guys that will forever back you up, love them. Love them, talk to them.
They are there for you, don't battle whatever challenge always alone, sometimes aid is useful (trust me, personal experience). After 2 months of being alone, I slowly understood who I should trust and who I shouldn't. But I also understood myself as a person and now I feel much better with me and I now know who are my real friends.
I'm telling you this because:
1) I have no idea what's going on :D
2) I care a lot about you and I wish I had told you before :( :oops:
3) If you ever need to talk to someone....I am there, trust me.
4) I want to defile more corpses with you in the future :P

I wish you all the luck in this world.

Sincerely,

Lord Rikan


P.S. My real name is Paolo ;)
 #141753  by Sifodias
 
Lord Rikan wrote:Dear Sifodias,
I don't know what to say (as I have not a clear idea of what is going on :mrgreen: )..........but I DO know one thing: that I'll miss you.
I don't know if you felt the same way with me (probably not) but I really cared about u, a lot and I'm not saying this just because you are leaving and I want to sound cheesy. I mean, think of all the times we tea-bagged corpses together. That was cool wasn't it? ......................*creepy? not at all*
Anyhow, from time to time we would joke around and I always enjoyed your company. I would always smile whenever you'd log into the game or whenever I'd log into one, and you were in it. Why? Because I felt there was someone in that match that I could call ''friend''.
Yes, I do know that friend is such a big word and that we probably live so far away from each other, thus we couldn't know much about one another, nonethelsess I believe that there a couple of things that I need to see from a person to call him/her ''friend'': loyalty, kindness, honour and a willing heart. I could see that in you so that was why I saw you as a friend. And I will continue to do so.
I regret the fact that we did not get to know each other THAT much, but I wish we did. Cause I am sure you are a wonderful person. Actually, I am not sure I know.
I don't see how could people hate you. Why would they? Where's all this hate coming from? You are cool hence you deserve the same amount of coolness in return.
I'd rather want you to stay and play some more JKA every now and then.....but if your heart tells you to leave, then I will not tell you not to. I think I know better than everyone else the feeling of being around people you consider friends but then you suddenly realise that most of them do not even care about you and/or dislike you for no reason. Ive been through that and the pain I felt last year has scarred me deeply. Robin Williams once said: '' I thought that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, I was wrong the worst thing in life, is to be with people that make you feel alone.'' I don't often talk about this and I dont know whether you will like it or not, I dont know too.
After realising that most of my friends where fake, judged me behind my back and influenced my personality to do crazy things (my fault too as i allowed them), I became more solitary, reserved, shy, cantankerous and sassy ( 8) ). I began to sit alone in school, never talking to anyone, I kept on reading books and listening to music, yet during this so called exile of mine, I understood a couple of things. That being alone isn't always bad if you know how to appreciate your persona and that if you are sure that there will be one or two guys that will forever back you up, love them. Love them, talk to them.
They are there for you, don't battle whatever challenge always alone, sometimes aid is useful (trust me, personal experience). After 2 months of being alone, I slowly understood who I should trust and who I shouldn't. But I also understood myself as a person and now I feel much better with me and I now know who are my real friends.
I'm telling you this because:
1) I have no idea what's going on :D
2) I care a lot about you and I wish I had told you before :( :oops:
3) If you ever need to talk to someone....I am there, trust me.
4) I want to defile more corpses with you in the future :P

I wish you all the luck in this world.

Sincerely,

Lord Rikan


P.S. My real name is Paolo ;)
DUUUUUDE <3 <3 <3
I just need some time right now. I'm starting to understand what I should fix ... Believe me Sifo will be back sooner that you expect <3
 #141789  by deathscyth
 
hello sifo i hope that one day you see that your not making it in isn't the end but a new beginning to a wonderful start i know if you try hard and continue to never give up you will succeed. sorry to see you go we had some good duals peace out. :)
 #141798  by Uscari
 
Hey Sifo,

This post, in most respects, reflects the sentiment I felt after my initial apps were denied.

If you do some digging, you will find a post that says "In My Defense" where I challenged KR members to tell me what was "wrong" with me, as though I was somehow being attacked just because my app was denied.

That was 3 years ago, and I laugh at myself reading that post because the answer to my burning question was right in front of me. My incistence that my lack of popularity constituted a negative response from the clan actually made me seem much more inconsiderate and polarized from this wonderful family than anything else I could have done.

Consider how a member of KR feels hearing about someone who wants to get in, but can't be sure whether that prospective member truly adhered to clan principles. If there is a question over your head, they are likely to abstain from the vote because they must first verify that the candidate is as they claim.

Now picture that voter stumbling on a post like this one, which to them only serves to draw more attention to the doubts surrounding your application, and what their reaction might be!

In order to secure trust in said supporters, you would need to show them who you are personally, and let them redefine you based on what they observe, rather than let your past applications define you.

In essence, many of us hardly know you, but only the circumstances surrounding you, and that is what we did not vote into the clan, not you as a person, because I don't think the real Sifo has taken the chance to show himself to us fully.

After my second app, I continued playing on KR for three months, and I took the chance to show KR who I truly am, and not let my past continue to define me.

I can tell you that is the best decision I ever made in jka, and I know you have what it takes to do the same.
 #141799  by Sifodias
 
I ... I messed up okay ?
I'm sorry guys, it's just that I have personal problems in my life, and then came that denying ... so I took it pretty bad.
But hopefully, you were here to support me.
Your messages were very encouraging, so I took the decision to stay !
So, forget what I've said, Sifo is on !
weeeeeeeeeeeeee
 #141802  by Uscari
 
Good to hear, I look forward to getting to know the real Sifo. ^^