Knights Reborn

I'm making this because it came to my attention that there are some people here that do not understand me. When I say me, I mean the way I operate in specific.
If you don't care, then don't read this. If you do, awesome. Thanks. I'm gracious.
My life, and everything Evolving and Revolving around it, are in constant conflict. It's hard to explain, and even harder to live with.
It's hard for me to see the truth of a matter sometimes, this particular matter is that I don't really have a problem.
For the past 5 years I've been constantly clashing with several things, specifically insecurity and anxiety. The insecurity comes from my obvious wish to be something else. I always find myself hating the people who have done nothing, and all to often I do things on an incomprehensible scale to pretend like I'm something I'm not. I hate the people that do nothing because I am jealous. That's the truth of it. I won't lie this time.
It's not something I can help on my own, despite trying to do so. I lash out sometimes, and that is wrong, I understand that. I often look at how other people handle situations, like day to day socialization. They always seem to have no trouble, and I can't ever seem to get how they pull it off. They stand there, and no one bothers them. How?
I'm sorry if I seem rude to any of you, but I'm just saying that isn't me. I am always reluctant to share my life with others, but it seems I can't function properly without being confident, so here I am. I'm telling you that I'm screwed up. I'm weird. My life sucks, I hate myself, and I often hate people when I--In truth-- Am jealous of them.
Take what you want of this, I have nothing really to say, other than I'm sorry to a few of you; Snorlax in particular.

I understand, my life is as hard as it gets. Nobody's life is, for that matter. I'm sure we can all relate. Just try to keep things you have in your personal life out of the server and on the forum, there are a lot of people here, including me, that will listen and help you out. You're not alone.

wtf?

Thanks.

Sorry, I was shocked and appalled by what you wrote to strangers.

Dont worry Gudr,most of us (i belive) had time in lifes,that just everything seemd it would colapse,some still have some dont.I had a lot of famally problems when i was yunger,but later stuff just seemd to be fixing itself,like everything went (back) in its place.

But dont worry,we are here to suport you.

I love to Shock people, Just be careful you don't get electrocuted.

I'll do that. Legit how that fits with your sig pic there. See, life ain't all that bad. It could be worse, trust me.

Dont worry, Gudrun, you are a friend of mine and i exactly know how you feel,i feel the same way when i feel i am *low* at something,trust me and besides like alex said i had a family problem as well,whenever i jump into the infront of the pc,my father would probably be mad since i am playing a game and he would threatened me that he was gonna send me to the military service but later,somehow,with time, it has been fixed

i am sure everything will be better in time Gudr. Trust me

Most people think the way you do, Gudrun. The only exception is that few people dare say it out loud in fear of rejection.

We are all spiders that forms webs our entire lives. When the spider dies, the web stays behind.

I accept.

Archaic wrote:wtf?

I'm always available on Skype. If you want to talk pm

Always here for a helping hand, life gets rough. But it's good to have friends there for you, and that's what we are.

Thanks everyone, I'm doing a little better

Snorlax wrote:

Archaic wrote:wtf?

Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Snorlax?

Most people do not think like that, Akimoto. It is an extremely unhealthy way of thinking. The few people that dare say it out loud are seeking attention.

If you are really feeling so down Gudrun, I advise you to seek professional help with real people in addition to over the Internet. Online friends that you'll most likely never actually meet face to face are not the best answer. The right people online (I.E. not me) can be a positive support group, but you really need to have face to face attention to help you deal with your feelings in a positive way, since you are unable to do so yourself.

There are a few suggestions and/or tips about dealing with depression, low self-esteem, emotional control, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that I can give you in private, if you wish.

Lets all remember I'm not 30... I'm 15. I highly doubt I could get something I don't already have. I already have a councilor helping me deal with my anxiety, and ever since I typed out that post, I've been feeling quite a bit better, relevant to my self insecurity.
This leads me to conclude that maybe I just needed to get out what my critical voice was telling me. I had it bottled up inside, and I didn't feel like I could tell people. When I joined this forum, I felt welcome and I felt comfortable around all of you..Though not as much Archaic now that he has spoken his opinion on this. No offense
My intention was not to get attention, Like I previously stated, I think I did it to just get the thoughts off my chest.

I thank you all for the help you've given me

Archaic wrote:

Snorlax wrote:

Archaic wrote:wtf?

Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Snorlax?

Oh, no reason.

Snorlax wrote:

Archaic wrote:

Snorlax wrote:

Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Snorlax?

Oh, no reason.

*Shakes head* You Canadians.

Archaic wrote:

Snorlax wrote:

Archaic wrote: Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Snorlax?

Oh, no reason.

*Shakes head* You Canadians.

amen.